Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You
Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have. In the past, I've had a very difficult time when others would point out my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would think, " Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but now everyone else sees them as well." I would hope and pray that these parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren't present or I would try my hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish. A big first step in learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being authentic to your true self. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved very passionately- so much so, that I've depended on the other person in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very important component missing-that passionate love for myself? With it, the "dysfunctional" one-sided relationships may have flourished or an even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in the first place (but that's a topic for another day). Once I accepted this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my faith, and most importantly, myself. You may find your dark sides in anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by wishing these traits weren't ours and not owning up to every inch of them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of being in a relationship where the other person may "kind of like you" or you "kind of like them". It doesn't flourish, and neither party is truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when you step back, you see the beauty of it all. Accept your yin and your yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every valuable bit of us. "If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will."
~Author Unknown Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This article may be distributed provided the author's information is included in its entirety.
http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Boost Your Self-Esteem
What Is Self-Esteem?
You Can Get There From Here
But first you've got to raise your standards.
How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part A for Attitude!
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry. No matter where I go in the world, no matter the size of the gym the biggest reason for their lack of success is all the same. My question is, "Do you want to be a mediocre Personal Trainer or do you want to be a GREAT one?
Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For
Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort out your complicated existence? The coach is a growing occupational choice for folks who feel the call to lead others who may feel overwhelmed or wish for personal fulfillment but don't know where to begin.
Personal Power
All of us would love to have personal power ? the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack.
Take Responsibility for Reshaping Your Life
We say we want to eat better, feel better, and look better. But in order to make our goals materialize, we have to take responsibility for what we want by taking the appropriate actions. Here are three simple steps to help you turn your healthy goals into concrete accomplishments:
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: How Do You Change the World?
Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very talented artist. He clearly has a social conscience and his depictions of the pain and misery of disenfranchised and minority people are so vivid and real you can't help but feel the pain in viewing the paintings.
3 Tips for a Great Summer - Developing Life & Business While Having a Blast
As the last day of school arrives I feel the same tendency I had as a child... to drop everything and scream "let's go play!" After all, extreme self-care is so important. I also wonder if we tend to use the summer as an excuse to procrastinate. So here are a few tips to integrate personal and business growth with a whole lot of fun.
Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
Success Coaching - What Bill Gates and You Should Have In Common
He was just a teenager, but he was already displaying the powerful habits that would one day make him a billionaire.
Five Steps to Vocational Passion: A Disciplined Plan for Major Mid-life Changes
There's a famous song lyric that asks: "Is that all there is?" Every seven seconds, an American turns 50 years old. So there's a good chance that song is running through some of their heads.
Are You Worth Investing In?
Do you realise that if you're green you're growing and if you're ripe you're rotten? So says Winston Marsh, Business Marketing Guru in his recent newsletter.
Becoming An Empowered Consumer
How many times have you said to yourself?"I just wish that company would treat me like they appreciated my business!"?
Skills for Change
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true at work, and it's also true in life. In both situations there are FOUR skills you can trust:
Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression
As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you're not sure where to start:
That Little Bit Of Extra
The "little bit extra" is a very powerful concept to put into practice today in every aspect of your life. The difference between being ordinary and being extraordinary is that little bit EXTRA. The little bit extra is what separates average performers from CHAMPIONS!
Could You and Your Business Benefit from a Business Coach or a Consultant?
The surprising answer is "probably". Most individuals don't realize that a certified business coach or business consultant can add enormously to their home based or more traditional type business. Many individuals think a business coach or consultant will come into their business and tell them things that they don't want to hear.
Do You Dither in Your Job Search?
I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing this article. It is to be agitated and in a nervous state.
Self-Defense Within Martial Arts Training Demands a Real-World Perspective
This story is being offered in response to a request made by my teacher, Soke (Grand Master) Masaaki Hatsumi, during a recent training visit to Japan. During one of the training sessions, Soke was suggesting that everyone, regardless of rank, should make it a point to talk to those with actual combat experience and to learn from these people. The point was, if you do not know what a real fight is like, you will not be able to train properly for an authentic situation.
Using Audio Programs to Increase Your Knowledge and Productivity
If you do any significant amount of driving, a simple thing you can do to increase your productivity is to listen to audio programs in your car. If your commute time to work is 45 - 60 minutes each way, you can easily listen to at least 1 book each week. Over the course of a year, that can add up to about 50 books. That is a significant number.
|
